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“He’s like if Santa Claus was a hitman.”
“He’s like Jaws, if everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.”
Brian Cox may have won himself more acting hardware with an episode that had him run the spectrum of emotions. While his appeal to his children at the end of the show was equally appealing, his newsroom speech was the firebreathing billionaire at his best.
Here is his newsroom speech…
“Good afternoon everybody. Good afternoon.
Uh, 15 percent up year on year?
Well, its a shame that we’re up 40 on costs.
But I guess, I guess that it evens itself up in the end.
I mean, does it?
(asking staffer) Is 15 equal to 40 pal?
Is 15 equal to 40 pal?!
No! Good!
Good head for numbers!
Alright. You’re good folks.
You’re the best or you wouldn’t be here.
But you’ve got to knuckle down for me.
Waystar, I can’t say too much as yet.
But I’m going to be spending a lot more time in here with you lot, because I love it in here.
I *ucking love it in here!
I *ucking love it!
So, I don’t want to know 3 percent week on week.
I want to know that we’re killing the opposition!
I want to be cutting their throats!
Our rivals should be checking in out the back of their chauffeured cars, because they can’t believe what we did!
So *ucking spicy! So true!
Something everyone knows but nobody says because they’re too *ucking lily livered! Huh?!
They cannot believe what we said!
And the fact that we *ucking said it!
They’re *ucking jam smears on the highway!
Now…Anyone that believes that I’m getting out, please shove the bunting up your *ss.
This is not the end.
I’m gonna build something better.
Something faster, lighter, leaner, wilder.
And I’m going to do it!
From in here with you lot!
You’re *ucking pirates!!!
All right! All right! Yeah!
(Newsroom erupts in applause)
Great speech. And another reason why it’s the best show on television.
See you next week. We’ve got a wedding to go to.
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