Praise Petey: “Barn Wedding” gives us the sacred tortoise and incredulous cowboy

Praise Petey was back with episode 5 of its first season, as New Utopia tried to develop new ways to stimulate their rural, cult based, economy by performing barn weddings for urban couples.

Their first clients are, Brian the Board, Petey’s ex, and his hot tempered bride to be, Amy, who resembles a vampire when she gets angry. She did order Petey’s up charge package for brides that for some reason don’t have a lot of female friends though.

The town is excited at having jobs, except for the elders who are once again excluded and May May who can’t find anything fun to do with all of the cult traditions being cut out of the ceremony by Petey. However, the mysterious Aunt Maxine appears out of nowhere to inspire May May of how great being retired can be.

As Amy leans fully into the fact that she’s marrying Brian to make her jealous, Petey uses an escort app to find a date, and Bandit shows up in full “make em’ jealous” mode which includes impeccable style, ballroom dancing expertise, and the knowledge of what takes up everyone’s attention in the room.

While everything appears to be going be going well, the elders crash the wedding and the naked cult freaks return with the sacred tortoise, completely overshadowing Amy on her big night. After briefly pushing away the cult and Liza, Petey makes a correction and inspires everyone with the true meanings of traditions as the show closes with “Breakfast Club” vibes.

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Points of interests..

Praise Petey now has a hypothetical TV line up consisting of “Hot people oversharing traumas and kissing”, “Elder House”, and “City F****s”. FreeForm should be taking notes.

There is an excellent chance that if you’re younger than 40 you missed that “incredulous cowboy” joke after he shouts “New York City?”. It’s from the old Pace Picante commercials and still gets thrown out there everyone in a while.

Wedding Crashers is old enough to vote. I’ll let that sit with you for a second.

What’d I miss? Let me know in the comments!

Please help my blog! I love blogging about TV for you guys!

ALSO! Read about the magazine Petey started HERE

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