Monday Reflections: Headaches and Dizziness

Today was a rough one. I’m so stressed out that I’ve got headaches and dizzy spells. And when you’ve got nowhere to go and no one to turn to, you just sit and feel empty and wait for things to either get better or worse.

The rains also returned today, meaning I was confined over where I could go.

What’s causing it? Fear. That’s the only way to really define it.

Fear for your safety. Fear for your future. And fear of the unknown from day to day.

Growing up, I was always taught to plan for your fears. If you plan, then you’ll be better prepared.

But to enact your plans, you need resources. I have nothing. I’m just stuck waiting for something bad to happen.

And that’s exactly what happens when the system that is supposed to help veterans doesn’t move fast enough. You’re stuck waiting for something bad to happen.

That might be one of the worst parts of the homeless veteran experience. The inability to actively work to improve your situation after the offices close.

When I was younger, it always felt like I could work my way out of trouble. But the problem now is that I don’t have transportation. I can’t get to where the work is.

I hope that these headaches and dizzy spells will subside. I don’t even want to know what my blood pressure is.

Homelessness poisons you. Completely. It blurs your thinking with the lack of sleep you get. It decimates your body because you’re not resting or eating well.

And it damages your soul because the depression never leaves you. I just want to get lost in nostalgia because if I focus hard enough I can almost forget how bad my life is right now.

Friends. Things are really bad right now. You can read more HERE and help out below. If you have any questions, you can write me directly at Torres.fjr@gmail.com





Next: Read my Saturday reflections HERE

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