The Best Quotes from “Cunk On Life” on Netflix
Philomena Cunk is back! With a new Netflix special “Cunk on Life” and if you enjoyed “Cunk on Earth” then you’ll likely have a blast figuring exactly how this lady’s mind works.
Anywho, here are the best quotes from the show. Enjoy!
“What do these creatures want? And why do they refuse to tell us?”
“Have you ever wondered how we got here? Wondered where we’re going? Wondered about the biggest mystery of them all? What is the meaning of life?
Well, I haven’t. But many others have.”
“In this documentary special, I’ll walk the globe in slow motion through picturesque locations”
(with every guest) “Who are you?”
“There are countless theories about how the universe got here. And the earliest one comes from the wacky world of religion.”
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“This is the good Old Testament. The first entry in the Christian cinematic universe. Jesus isn’t in this one. It’s mainly about his bad tempered dad. A man so mysterious, we still only know him by his stage name. God.”
“Is there a god?”
Interviewee: “Yes”
“Oh. That was quick.”
(On the creation of the universe in seven days)
“It sounds like a short span of time, but unlike us, God wasn’t constantly interrupted by IPhone notifications.”
“First God said ‘let there be light’ which makes a lot of sense because he needed to see what he was doing.”
“Here on the planet of Italy is the Sistine Chapel. Inside of it, is an astonishing collection of images created by overachieving painter decorator Michael A.N Jello”
“When Michael Angelo painted the Sistine Chapel, did he start on the floor and then flip the building over? Or was he always on the ceiling?”
“The man God is creating here is called Adam. He’s one half of the first celebrity couple, Adam and Eve. Played here by actors who happily signed a nudity waiver.”
“Adam and Eve weren’t just the first humans to exist. But also the first to disappoint their dad.”
(On the Ten Commandments tablets)
“It was the world’s first and heaviest press release”
(Seven deadly sins)
“Devout followers avoid sinful pleasures like lusting after sloths during their lifetimes.”
“This is Las Vegas. Spanish for “The Vegas””
“Given it’s reputation, Las Vegas is known as Sin City, which is short for Cincinnati or would be if that wasn’t a different place altogether.”
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“I’ll be honest. This relationship with God is throwing up a lot of red flags.”
“The alternative to heaven is hell. A firery pit of damnation and torment which currently only has two stars on Trip Advisor.”
“If God is up there looking down on us, why do we kneel when we pray?”
“Every life form is made of cells. Like a prison. Which is why life is so depressing.”
“Cells couldn’t multiply without this. The IKEA instruction manual for life. DNA. DNA is tiny. Yet, complex. Like Tom Cruise.”
“Do we all have ‘D’ and ‘A’ or do some of us have “D” or “A”?”
“Is it true the most important thing we can do in our lives is piss in our jeans. Sorry”
(Producer) “Pass on our genes.”
“The female reproductive organs are largely hidden indoors for safe keeping and are normally only visible behind some kind of paywall. By contrast, the male genitals or Mr. Genitals live on the outside of the body where they can be easily photographed and DM’d to a potential mate without consent.”
“Nine months after conception, the infant painlessly slides through the lady’s front hole and out into the world. It then slowly mutates from a baby into an actual human being.”
“Did you know only 40 percent of us have skeletons.”
(with a guest)
“Oh. I supposed to remind you to keep your answer coherent for our f*** witted viewers.”
“Imagination is a side effect of having a mind.”
“What’a black hole? I’m sorry. A hole of color.”
“How soon after death is it safe to resume your day to day activities?”
“Scientists say ghosts don’t exist, even though they’ve been caught on camera many times, like in Poltergeist and Poltergeist 2, and the remake of Poltergeist”
“Nietzsche can f*** off.”
(About Fryodor Dostoevsky)
“But his most celebrated work, his absolute Tour de France is unopened masterpiece Crimean D Punishment.”
“Why are we saying people are facing the electric chair when they’ve got their backs to it?”
(Video chatting with an inmate)
“So, have you been on death row before? Or is this your first time?”
“Electrocuting people isn’t very eco friendly. Is it? Could we just steam them to death?”
“How do you know cats aren’t thinking about their existence, they might be really anxious and when they say “meow” they’re expressing their own pain like “me, ow”
“Van Gogh’s life and by extension our world, would have been better if he never painted anything.”
“Sorry, am I wasting your time?”
(during the credits)
“Is it harder to enter the kingdom of heaven since BREXIT?”
What was your favorite quote? Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments.
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