Hollywood eventually comes for everything. In their latest raid, they’re coming for our empanadas.

For the uninitiated, the empanada is a flaky pastry that is filled with the filling of your choice and then deep fried to a crisp. You can fill these bad boys with beef, chicken, or pork. There are even vegetarian options out there.

But The Horrors of Dolores Roach decided to fill them with human.

That’s right the new Amazon streamer, which I’ve started binging (typing that makes me want to retch) is a loose take of Sweeney Todd.

Instead of Victorian London, it’s modern day Washington Heights.

Instead of Johnny Depp’s barber, its Justina Machado’s masseuse.

And instead of pies, they’re filling empanadas with people.

The empanada filled with human remains is appropriately called the “Muy Loco” empanada. Hannibal Lecter should be promoting this thing on television. It’s insane.

What ruins the empanada for the rest of us, is that you really don’t even know what kind of empanada you’re eating until you’ve already taken a bite.

I used to think getting a full olive in my empanada was the worst thing I could find. The Horrors of Dolores Roach is going to change that. A piece of Marc Maron would indeed be much worse.

And then there is the attention that is given to serving the “Muy Loco” to the neighborhood, and the focus and up close shots given to anyone is eating their human Hotpocket on screen.

How do we not think of this anytime we eat an empanada moving forward? It’s pretty gruesome when you think about it.

And when its taking place on screen in “Roach” I can’t think of anything else.

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