It’s great to be doing television again, and we’re going to start with one of my favorite television shows that ended last year.

Succession.

And we’re going to start with Tom, the character who pretty much won the show after some last minute help.

Here are the best quotes from Tom Wambsgans….

(To Greg during the first show)

“Seriously, you need any help, any advice, just don’t *ucking bother. Okay?”

(Interviewing a suspected Nazi)

“Have you ever read Mein Kampf?”

“A couple of times. I guess”

“A couple of times? Are there Easter eggs in there you didn’t get the first time?

(Eating Logan’s chicken to prove he’s not a wimp)

“Thank you for the chicken.”

(Talking to the shareholders at a presentation)

“Two important things to remember about the News. First, it’s new. All the things that are new. The many news.”

(Talking to Greg)

“Buckle up *ucklehead”

(Threatening Shiv’s ‘friend’ ‘Nate’)

“I think you need to go *uck yourself. And If I ever see you in the same room as Shiv, I will pay men to break your legs. And if I go to jail (which I won’t) so be it”

“Put my *ucking wine back.”
Nate pours the wine back in the bottle
“Don’t make a *ucking mess”

(Talking about Logan)

“He did once call me the c*** of Monte Cristo”

(Talking to Kendall on the phone)

“I can’t reveal my sources” (thumbs up to Greg who is out of whisper range) “But it’s Greg).

(To Greg)

“Forgive me, Greg, but we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather beaten face? No? Then why the *uck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes? ”

(To Shiv)

“I wonder if the sad I get from being without you would be better than the sad I get from being with you.”

(To Kendall)

“My hunch is that you’re going to get *ucked. Because I’ve seen you get *ucked a lot and I’ve never seen Logan get *ucked once.”

(Before his wedding)

“I work in hospitality Charlotte, so I can smell the bull *hit (his mom arrives) Mommmmmm!”

(Talking to Greg, who kinda hooked up at Logan’s birthday party)

“Did you rummage to fruition?”

(To Greg, when he thinks he’s going to prison after reciting the story of Nero)

“I bought a book about the Romans to read in prison.”

Greg: “Is it a big book?”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty big book………I’d castrate and marry you in a heatbeat”

(Telling Logan he’ll go to jail for the family)

“I won’t wriggle. Just clunk the trout on the head and put it in your pouch”

(To Mattson before getting the CEO job)

“I’m a grinder. I grind all night because I worry about everything.”

“I have an excess of vigilance, I think, and I have a high tolerance for pain and physical discomfort.”

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