November 21, 2024

National Treasure Edge of History: Elvis is lucky he didn’t have to watch this

This show is so bad. One of the worst on TV right now.

Still, because Disney Plus is taking our money I’m compelled to continue telling you how bad National Treasure: Edge of History is.

Our latest episode had this lousy group of “heroes” continuing their hunt for an ancient treasure. At this point, I’m rooting for Catherine Zeta Jones (the ‘bad guy’ named Billie) to find it first and send this terrible excuse of protagonists to jail in her place.

It’s that bad.

The episode begins with the group going to Orrin’s house (who may actually be the most annoying entity on this abomination) to find an ancient device called a camcorder. We learn more about the treasure that was being protected from the Conquistadors but I really didn’t care.

Still, this ridiculous hunt takes us to Graceland. Home of Elvis. I feel terrible that The King had to be dragged into this.

After a quick check in with the villains, and the “Baby you famous” line about social media, I wanted to throw my laptop into the middle of the street.

Then we get to Graceland where security can be compromised by a phishing email and a bad Dolly Parton joke. Then, these kids are able to break in and get everything we they need, when one of them picks up a guitar and starts playing.

I wanted this group to get caught so bad. I wanted Elvis to rise from his grave eat all of them horribly in an unplanned sequel to “28 Days Later”. The acting was bad. The writing was so bad. The editing for the entire episode was bad with moments lasting about two seconds too long.

Even the extras were terrible. The extras couldn’t even react to this dreadful material. I wanted the cops to get them so bad. At this point I stopped believing in Christmas. Why would Disney curse me with such a bad show this way?

Then we check in with Billie, Kacey and Nate, and Nate died. Why couldn’t it be someone from the other group?

They decoded a message from Elvis and it said “Please don’t put me on this stupid show.”

No. It didn’t say that. But it should have.

Then Billie, a Disney villain who orchestrated a hostage swap last week, quoted Nelson Mandela. But it was just the same clue that Jess’ group got.

This was still really bad. Don’t watch it. Tell the ones you love not to watch it. It might save their Christmas.

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