Ted Lasso: Best Quotes from Ted Lasso himself

Do you miss Ted Lasso? I know I do.

But one of the best feel good television shows of our era left behind a lot of gems of wisdom. Some we’ll never forget. Whether it was our favorite soccer/football coach leading the charge on the pitch or in the office with the Diamond Dogs, we’re left with a lot to be grateful for.

Let’s get started.

Rebecca: “Do you believe in ghosts, Ted?”
Ted: “I do. But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves.”

(To the team)

Ted: “Your body is like day old rice, if ain’t warmed up properly, something real bad can happen”

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(On the plane to meet the team)

Ted: “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable while doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.”

(To Rebecca, who is picking out something to wear)

Ted: “Passion is about confidence and If I didn’t have confidence, I never would have worn pajamas to my prom and ended up in jail the rest of the night.”

(To Roy)

Ted: “You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t want to hear it.”

(To Rupert)

Ted: “Love of a sports team is a life long obsession. Like your best friend’s sister.

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(To Beard)

Ted: “I feel like we fell down the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down and fell into a pool of cash and sour patch kids”

(Breaking up a fight in the locker room)

Ted: “Coach, tell these guys what the first rule of my fight club is.”

Beard: “No fight club!”

Ted: “No fight club”

(To Rebecca)

Ted: “I would hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off of it either.”

(Answering a question about match draws at a press conference)

Ted: “I’ve never been embarrassed about having streaks in my draws. It’s all a part of growing up”

(Mentoring Roy and Jamie)

Ted: “When it comes to locker rooms, I like them like my mom’s bathing suits. I only want to see them in one piece.”


(To Roy)

Ted: “You know how they say youth is wasted on the young? Well I like to say don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted on you.”

(To Rebecca)

Ted: You know what you do with tough cookies. Right? Dip them in milk.”

(To Rupert on billiards)

Ted: I would love to bundle up under a weighted blanket and watch, “You’ve Got Mail” while devouring a box of Snookers.

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(To Rupert during a high stakes dart game)

Ted: “Guys used to underestimate me my entire life. It used to really bother me. Then I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman it was painted on the wall there, it said “Be curious. Not judgmental. I like that.

So, I get back in my car and I’m driving to work and all of the sudden, it hits me. All of those fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. They thought they had everything figured out, so they judged everything. And they judged everyone. And I realized that they underestimating me, who I was had nothing to do with it. Because if they were curious, they would have asked questions. You know? Questions like ‘have you played a lot of darts, Ted?’ Which I would have answered “Yes, sir”. Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father from age 10 to when I was 16 when he passed away.

Barbecue sauce.”

That’s far from all of them. What are some of your favorite quotes from Ted. Leave them in the comments below.

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