Succession: Best Quotes from Cousin Greg

Cousin Greg Hirsch, the odd man out and generally odd man in the show Succession series.

But he did give us plenty of great moments and plenty of great quotes.

Let’s break it down.

(Stealing food from the break room when he’s caught by Tom)

“My body is growing weak due to a lack of sustenance.”

“They’re poop bags”

“Its not like they pre poop them. It’s just a mental barrier”

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(Getting a warning from Kendall)

“Getting burned. Does it sound good? It doesn’t sound great.”

(Talking to Kerry about a fake focus group critique)

“The arms aren’t right…. On TV. This can happen. They shoot weird. The cameras. ”

(To Tom)

“I got a haircut, even though I didn’t need to get a haircut. I just needed someone to touch my head. You know? Soothing.”

(To Tom again)

“Yeah, Nazis. They’re the worst.”

(After Roman citing ‘Greg sprinkles’)

“I object. I’m more than just a sprinkle.”

(At a congressional committee hearing)

“If it is to be said. So, it is.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I merely wish to answer in the affirmative fashion.

“You can speak to us normally.”

“So I shall”

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(Outside with Tom)

“I feel like this stuff is attracting midges. My sandmites are getting bitten by midges.”

(On the phone with his mom)

“So this kid I picked up this morning, smoked a joint in my car. Like this hitchhiker kid I picked up early this morning because it was raining and I didn’t want him to get sexually assaulted. Before I can say anything he aggressively takes out like a doobie. And the car smelt like skunk weed and I smelt like it and they were like ‘get all your stuff and go’.”

(In the panic room, panicking)

“How is this safe!? It’s just a room! A small person could fit through that window. An attack child.”

(Pitching Tom)

“ATN. We hear for you. It’s good because its not exactly clear what it means. So, lots of wiggle room.”

(Talking about scoring at Logan’s birthday party)

“The disgusting brothers on tour. She’s a firecracker man. She’s crunchy peanut butter. We were looking for the armory/ cigar humidor, and she pulled me into a guest bedroom, and bingo bongo, hit that bango.”

(Blowing up)

“I just lost a quarter of a billion and now I”m going to jail forever, because of this guy. Because of this f****** guy. This f****** guy.”

(Pouring lemon La Croix to offset squirting wasabi into a pollster’s eyes)

“It’s natural. It’s medical. It’s not that lemony. It’s just a hint of lemon!”

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(Snooping around and dropping a bell before a maid enters the room)

“I apologize if my bell summoned you.

(Roasting Logan)

“Where are your kids? Where’s all your kids, Uncle Logan? On your big birthday.

What did I miss! Let me know in the comments below!

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