July 23, 2024

Watch these Super Hero movies if you hate Valentines Day

Do you hate Valentine’s Day?

Me too?

After all. Why should us sane folks have to lose our two top at Chilis because of some chocolate and flower fueled holiday, where people have to pretend to love each other? A lot of them are cheating on each other anyways.

Anywho, watch these Super Hero movies to remember why Valentine’s Day is stupid.

Dr. Strange and The Multiverse of Madness: Yeah, Wanda is crazy as hell in this one. And she is because of an alien ripped a jewel out of her robot boyfriend’s skull. Then you’ve got Strange, who is actually sane but comes up short handed on the romance as well.

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Batman Returns: Nothing like meeting a ridiculously gorgeous Michelle Pfeiffer and then realizing she’s absolutely out of her freaking mind, and is wiling to flirt with Danny DeVito as an arctic fowl, while acting like a cat, to get her way.

Wonder Woman 1984: This one is so bad that it might encourage you to hate movies too. There is nothing as unhealthy as our fearless hero imagining Captain Kirk in someone else’s body because Gal Gadot just can’t find someone to love her. That might be more unbelievable than the plot.

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Spider Man: No Way Home: Yeah, Doctor Strange is really good at killing love. And here he’s particularly clever when he decides that the most healthy way of coping with a tough relationship is just to force everyone into forgetting that it happened to begin with.

Captain American Civil War (One scene only): Yeah, Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter are love goals, and our boy goes through time to get to dance with his girl.

But never forget, he buried Peggy and kissed her granddaughter first.

Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

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