I’m a god fearing man. Many homeless veterans are.
But when you’re a veteran and you lose everything, your faith is tested like it’s never been before.
This is because of the mental beating your soul takes everyday you’re lost in the community with no home to go to, and every night when you’re never truly sleeping peacefully.
We’re taught to believe in the goodness of God, but when the community has rejected you and you have nothing, the reminders of goodness have left you. And you feel abandoned.
While I’m not in church every Sunday, I’m there for many of them. I read the word. I close my eyes and pray with everything in my heart everyday.
And right now, I have nothing.
You spend a lot of time asking “Why?”. You and I both understand this isn’t unusual. Many of us have our faith tested when we lose someone or something.
But what have we done for the entirety of our life to amount to ruin? We broke no laws. We’ve hurt no one.
I had a phone call with my pastor today. He’s a good guy. I’ve known him for many years.
While I was grateful for him, there were no answers. And the outcome was no different than when homeless veterans pray together when we’re on the street.
A group of forgotten warriors. Our best days behind us. Some of us will never recover. And all of us have lost the time that being homeless has taken from us forever.
But we won’t stop trying to talk to God.
Because when you have nothing, no one wants to listen to you, God whether you believe he truly exists or not is the only one that might be listening.
Dear reader. Times are very hard right now. You can help out below. It would be making a great difference. If you have any questions, please write me at torres.fjr@gmail.com
Next: Read about how myself and many other homeless veterans feel broken HERE
1 Comment