Halo: We didn’t sign up to watch this shell of a Master Chief pull a microchip out of his butt

Another week, another miss for Halo the series on Paramount Plus. How are they messing this up so badly? I really want to know because this mythology should be a slam dunk for whoever is fortunate enough to interpret it, but the show keeps getting everything wrong and appears to get worse with every new episode.

Before this series, we’d never gotten Master Chief without a helmet. This week, for the majority of the episode, he wasn’t even in his armor. What are we even doing here? We want to see to see Master Chief destroying everything in combat, and this show is just so scared to do that.

Instead, we got a convoluted Cortana origin story. And unfortunately, they’ve decided to make her annoying. I know what they’re trying to do with her but we’re not even getting the basics right here. Visually, she doesn’t even look that good.

Even the covenant angles, with hints of the flood are mostly missing. But get this. It might actually be the most interesting part of the show right now, and that’s problematic.

Right now we’re running around in circles. And I know why this is happening.

The writers of this program don’t know their stuff. And if they happened to study up on the material, then they’re out of touch with the players/fans of this mythology. That could ruin this entire experience.

They didn’t produce this for us, the fans. They produced it for what they thought would be good for us. And it’s failing right now.

We didn’t wait 20 years to watch Master Chief pull a microchip out of his butt.

Do better.


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