The season finale of The White Lotus is speeding towards us, and we know that multiple guests are killed. I wanted to get my predictions out there, and I feel pretty good about them. Lets started.

Who doesn’t die?: Our two couples will leave rattled but not destroyed. At the end of the day Harper, Ethan, Cameron, and Daphne are intelligent and (mostly) rational people with the latter couple parents to children (we know already at least Daphne lives). Tanya and Portia should live because Jennifer Coolidge is too hot right now, and also because of another plot point we’ll talk about in a sec. We also know that Valentina (my favorite character) should also live to die another day because she was also in the first scene of the season.

And yes, Portia is the art for this post but my front page already has enough White Lotus graphics on it.

Who and what does die?

Burt:
What kills him? Heart attack: The oldest of the Di Grasso men has been hurting since he got to the resort. He’s also suffering from a broken heart from that bad family reunion, while watching the next two generations of his family sleep with hookers. His heart will finally give out on him, teaching a tough lesson to his son and grandson.

Quenten and Greg:
What kills them? Jack. Jack isn’t all there. But at the end of the last episode he hinted being used as something of a tool in Quenten’s plan. He’ll take revenge and kill a plotting Greg and Quinten, before running off with Portia. Tanya will need another assistant and husband, but she’ll be alive.

Wildcard: Giuseppe the Piano Player
What kills him? Valentina: After discovering that Isabella and Rocco are engaged (yikes), Valentina will connect with the woman she’s been trying to kick out of the resort since the season began. Mia will be the new White Lotus musical act. They’ll give him enough pills to finish the job this time.

Wildcard No. 2: Alessio the pimp
What kills him? Albie. I’m pretty sure Lucia is still playing Albie, but there could be a redemption arc here and we could see Albie stand up and protect her, which would result in Alessio dying in some unintentional way.

What do you think? Who dies at the end of this sesason?

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